As I continue to wrap-up my stuff and address dangling conversations, this note may find its way to its originator:

Beamish –

Thank you for your thoughts, and I’m happy to respond to your comments. First off, I’m not so good at this stuff so please bear with me. I found this site after receiving an email from a good friend only 2 days ago, on January 8, 09 around 5:05 PM EST.
I was surprised to find that someone had posted some of my YouTube material and invited others to watch it, and sent off a quick note to ‘ats’ but may have done it incorrectly since I meant it for the ‘atsguy’ as an acknowledgment, only to find it got posted as an ‘out-of-context’ anonymous note. (Submitted on Jan 9, 09)

To my surprise, as I checked back to the site I saw your comment, and it set me to wondering why I was feeling what I was feeling as I read your thoughts.

So, here goes:
Timeline – The YouTube material was first done in January, 2008, just one year ago. My good friend shot it on a borrowed, poor quality older video camera and then had to find the means to get it on the site. There were three of us together at the time and it was a truly spontaneous (now I wonder if it was actually impulsive) decision to finally post some material I had kept rather hidden for many years.
So, Jan ’08 was when I made available to a larger public audience what you so accurately refer to as a “life changing experience.”

The Monkey See material was actually filmed in July 21, 2007 and made available when they launched on Jan 14, 08 (also one year ago this week). I took the opportunity to use the Monkey See site to chat about my work on intuitive insight and answer some general questions on what I have found over the years.
So when I read, in reference to my Monkey See postings: “He seems to have forgotten (which is odd for someone promoting awakening of the self) his ET experiences” I felt a shot that I’m pretty sure you were not delivering; but none the less, I wondered WHY I would have to have spoken about my ET material, then and there. It was not what that opportunity was about, and I assure you I most certainly had not then, nor have I now, forgotten the experiences.

As far as “…his memory has also become selective on his own site” - well, it’s not my memory that was selective, simply my timing. I first started posting daily glimpses on my earliest web site in 1999. At that time I was still working with the late Dr John Mack and the clinical director at PEER, and believe me (if you so choose) I was in no way going to talk about or share my experiences as they were emerging and being integrated. Not only would it have been inappropriate, but I was in such a state during those years that it would only have exacerbated my at-times fragile psychological state. I don’t expect you to understand, but I will tell you that when I first established my web presence, my services were not dependent upon my ET experiences.

When you brought up the financial aspect, or more directly: “And money has reared its ugly head too…” I was taken aback. I understand you probably know very little about me and how I do, indeed, struggle to stay alive financially. In January of 1988 I left my last ‘real job’ as a production manager for a semi-custom yacht builder in New England as I was starting to come undone deep inside. At that time, I couldn’t imagine what I was in store for. I began doing readings for people using the language of astrology which I had been studying personally since Feb, 1981. I found that I was able to access tremendous amounts of information about an individual after (I thought) examining their natal chart. The exchange proved beneficial for them and yes, I did charge a fee. At the time this is how I lived and paid bills.
By 1991 I had a strong client base and found that I did not need to use the tools I had developed, but I was not comfortable with the idea that I could access information directly, on my own. Over the next 10 years my intuitive skill  took on a life of its own, and I continued to avail my self to others. In 2001 my life took an incredible turn that I’m still building upon.

So, to your comment of: “Yup, I agree everyone’s got to make a living, but at the EXPENSE of turning your back on an apparently life changing experience? Is he embarrassed by his earlier proclamations?” I offer the explanation that I am not embarrassed, nor am I ashamed of my journey, and I now understand that all of my inter-dimensional experiences are part of my current package and what it is I have to offer. As far as whether or not my ET experiences are the most significant or life changing, I would say no, they are only part of my story.
I know several friends and clients that have had traumatic experiences (abuse, rape, death) and none of them include them in their current job or life description for they are far too personal. Only when it is safe and appropriate do they offer up their personal experiences. I never wish to become known as ‘the guy who got taken by alien beings as a child and had some pretty terrible things done to him’ since that is not who I am; even though it happened, that alone does not make me who and what I am. The evening I chose to tell my parents about some of my experiences in case they wanted to meet Dr John and the research group was more than enough emotional torque for me until very recently.

Finally, your last comment is most intriguing as it is also on my mind. When you ponder: “It makes me wonder how many people actually click on his bio, and then are surprised to find accounts of his abduction experience” you are not alone on that.
I wonder, should it matter? My clients agree to work with me after experiencing first hand my connection to their inner-truth. When I take my car in to be worked on, do I ask about the mechanic's psycho-spiritual experiences? No, I do not; for me it is enough that he was recommended and hopefully honest in his work. I take great pride in doing my work and the exchange is incredible for me since I am always left in the presence of my ‘Inner-Other’ who has been with me from the very beginning. While it is true that my Inner-Other cannot pay rent or buy gas or food, my clients are only too glad to help keep me alive! By the way, the site you pasted is out of date as I now request substantially more for my time, as my worth has increased. Still not enough to have health coverage or drive anything but a 13-year-old car that always needs something fixed, but perhaps someday…

What I have seen and experienced has touched me to my soul and allowed my human to access those memories. I struggle with keeping that touch in memory while trying to stay viable in this world. I am not so good at the ‘being human’ part and many people have their own opinions about how and what it is that I am doing wrong. I know no other way, and am comforted only by the knowledge that as I awake I am in the presence of a love so incredible that it’s okay. My life may not be as I wish it to be, but it is the way it needs to be for me to remember. And I Will Remember…

Hope this settles your questions about my selective memory, but in truth you are correct. Memory is about as accurate as is perception, and mine is most certainly up for review. Perhaps we’ll meet on the other side of perception, or maybe we already have and your comments were always meant to be found by me yesterday so I could write this today. Honestly, sometimes ‘remembering’ can be a bitch!

Best to you,
As Always,
IAm