Musings of madness…
Ah, yes – the ‘working-out’ of my human life, that backlog of previously ordered packages from when I had no idea what I was thinking, never mind that all those thoughts would coagulate into packages that when delivered would be rather disagreeable. So what is it I am to trust? That I did not then know what was in my best interest? Can’t just keep moving in hopes that the packages won’t get delivered. Got to receive these ‘gifts’ and learn to see that the past is still trying to control my life. Like a bad habit now offering advice and guidance it’s time to find the way out of what was and reclaim what is to be!

Perhaps it’s the truth of consequences that is keeping a grip so tight upon my thinking mind that seems to make me unable to see differently. For if the law of selective perception is true, then can’t I see different packages or is it that I must see the current packages differently? Is that just a cop-out that all criminals feel as they hear the sentence being delivered? That final stroll down ‘dead-man-walking’ row as the consequences dance upon the skin being strapped into the chair soon to shed the final light of understanding…

Is it death I fear? Death of what? Is the change of mind, of perception, that I seek, so threatening that death itself is a preferred option? Should I not just plead my case and beg to be re-instated into the safety of the mind-held-in-common’s dream of projective perception? Is it too late? Have I strayed too far? Can I go back to what was? Is there another way to be?

If this is the dream of self-awakening, you can have it. Choices produce consequences; consequences are inevitable. To break that chain would violate the … wait a minute; whose thoughts are these anyway? Exactly what is my power in the face of this gathering evidence? Have I simply over-identified with my current thought-in-manifestation? The weight of this seriousness is too much and I cannot hear my 'other' tell me what’s real because I seem to be insisting this is real! Kind of begs the next question: what is real?  

Oh my; I’m afraid to see that I’ve chosen a world of experience that some ‘other’ part of me absolutely, positively knows is not ‘real’ – I must be losing my mind. Or, I’ve lost my mind. Or perhaps I’ve found another piece of that which I left in lost memory and I am now calling it back. Yes, that seems right, now I remember, this is where I found myself after chasing that thought, that idea, that….

Suddenly I’m awake in my bed. But am I really awake? Is that the sound of Ender Dog coming to tell me it’s time to go – out, for a walk? What will I find today? Ah, today – time traveling again! Hope I find some happy moments…